Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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