This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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