I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize