My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
