you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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