Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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