Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
