Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
