Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
