Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize