this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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