the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
