I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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