What a fucking waste of an outfit
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
the day after is always just damage control
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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