My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
