you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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