I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
