just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
