I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Is it penis luge time yet?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
