she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize