Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
