People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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