If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
