Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
