Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
