just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I believe in your delicious
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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