I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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