? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
