I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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