can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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