I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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