why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you win again, gameday.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
