I need help removing her.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
