I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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