she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
