I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
