in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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