I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
did i walk over a car last night?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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