I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
