So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
And then he peed in my hair
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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