"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
