Your tits are I can't wait for
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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