I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
