Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
