I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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