i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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