How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
