he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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