in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
When are your genitals available?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
