My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize