He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
