I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
