Your face is a jimmy john
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
