just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I did not marry a roomba.
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