We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
