I feel great
I just peed on a car
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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