I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
