Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
